The Most Important Part of Keeping a Home

Events, organizing, cleaning, all of that is what's usually thought of when it comes to keeping a home. But the most important thing isn't often mentioned in books or on blog posts. Possibly because it seems obvious. And possibly because it's a question.

Why are you doing this?

Why are you driving yourself ragged making sure your kids get to each soccer or baseball game? Why are you exhausting yourself scrubbing each inch of the home and decluttering until everything is smooth and streamlined? Why are you concerned if your sink is shiny?

Why?

Without the why, you'll end up yelling at kids who aren't moving fast enough, or at a spouse who keeps leaving their favorite snack bowl on the table, or beating yourself up because you've failed yet again at something everyone else seems able to do with ease.

Before I talk about systems and routines and habits, I want to spend a moment discussing why we do this at all. Because the obvious answer is that it makes us and our family happier, right?

Does it?

There's a lot that could be said about this subject, things involving how we grew up, how much money or resources we had as a kid, our parent's philosophy on life and how it affected us, but in this post, I want it all centered here, on us, in the moment. So, go ahead and take a moment to consider these questions. Don't censor yourself. Write down the first thing answer that pops into your head and make sure the answers are in a place that only you can see.

Why do you want to have a clean house?

Why do you want to keep track of time and events?

How comfortable are you with cleanliness and organization?

If you live with others, how comfortable are they with your beliefs about cleanliness?

If you have one set of standards and those you live with have another, how much does it stress you out when things don't go your way? What kind of compromise can be reached? Or can you compromise?

And if you really want to go deep, ask yourself this:

Are you happy? Why?

There is no right or wrong answer. There is only knowledge of yourself and why you do what you do. Knowing that will make everything else in your life easier, not just home management.

I also recommend starting a journal of some sort as you begin to take stock of where you really are. It can be a bullet journal, a traditional journal, or a visual journal. I have personally found Morning Pages as outlined by Julia Cameron in her book The Artist's Way particularly helpful. Morning Pages helped me find out what I really felt and what I really wanted in a way that nothing else up to that point had.

Here's one person's view on Morning Pages: What Are Morning Pages? How One New Habit Changed My Life (warning: ad heavy)

And here's the link to Julia Cameron's view of it: Morning Pages

Whatever you choose, be honest. And be good to yourself, too. You are a wonderful person, with many talents to share. Organizing your life is just the beginning of that.